What I want

I think too much ( I think). I spend alot of my waking and sleeping hours trying to dream myself into something better than I have.

Life has been so bad lately with all that has been going on with my family. I would never have thought that the health of my siblings would have had such a dramatic effect upon my life.

My sister in Baltimore at least is still hanging on after getting sick but then came my brother (who was already sick), being hit by that SUV driver. I mean he already had enough wrong with him with being totally deaf and slightly blind. You would think that God or whatever had already done enough to him.

Then comes the trauma of my brother in NYC getting leukemia at age 54. They say he is in remission now but he still has a way to go until he can return home.

My sister in NY has taken on the burden of him but still life is crazy for me because I try to help out as much as I can by going down to NYC as often as I can. The drive down to NYC takes between 6 or 7 hours depending on the traffic. I have done pretty good with getting there and back easily. With the last few days of snow my travel is now limited because I fear what lurks in the southern tier of NY.